Back That “As” Up: The Little Things Matter

October 15, 2010

Last Thursday, I had my appendix out, which was actually not nearly as big of a deal as you might think. You see, they did laparoscopic surgery, which disappointingly does not signify that it was done on my lap (although it was), but rather that instead of making a big incision and just cutting the appendix out with pruning shears or whatever, they made three little holes, through which they inserted some long, snakey tools, along with a long, snakey camera (presumably with a light, since Groucho Marx’s observation about the inside of a dog surely applies equally to the inside of a person), and did all the snipping and what-not on the inside, then pulled the appendix out one of those the same holes. As a result, I was pretty much back on my feet by Monday and back to work on Tuesday. (I always schedule my severe health crises so as to miss as little work as possible. This time, I took advantage of Columbus Day. Two summers ago, I arranged to get pneumonia during a two-week vacation.)

Still, I’ve been trying to take it easy so that my three little incisions will heal well and quickly, so I skipped my usual Tuesday night drinks, and have been driving to work rather than riding my bicycle. This is annoying, especially the no-bike-riding, because (a) I like riding my bicycle because it allows me to proceed at just the right pace for taking in everything that is beautiful about life and Fall and Hartford; (b) Anna went to California on Wednesday for a week, and while my dad has come for a visit and is doing yeoman’s work helping me with the boys, I still have plenty to do around the house in terms of cooking, cleaning, making lunches, and all of that, and the combination of a steady stream of work + household chores + missing Anna + extra Spanish translations is making me a little stir crazy. It’s funny how something as small as an appendix can cause such a disruption.

Anyway, the logical remedy to this state of affairs, especially now that more than a week has passed since I went under the knife (or the laparoscope, or whatever) is to go out in the evening, perhaps on my bicycle. Luckily, since my dad is around, I can do that and he will stay home and mind the sleeping children. So today I went to see what movies are playing in my area, figuring I might grab the 10 beers in my fridge, call up a friend, buy a box of cookies, and have a really classy evening out. In perusing the local offerings, I came across a movie I’d not heard of, called “Easy A.” When I clicked on the Moviefone link for a description, I read the following:

Nathaniel Hawthorne’s The Scarlet Letter is re-imagined as a contemporary high school comedy in this tale of a scheming student who plots to give her popularity a boost by painting herself the easiest lay in school.

I can’t know, but I assume that what she actually does is paint herself as the easiest lay in the school, because if she just painted herself a lay, this movie wouldn’t be a high school comedy re-imagining of The Scarlet Letter, but of Pygmalion, which would actually be a lot of fun, EXCEPT THAT IT HAS ALREADY BEEN DONE AND IT WAS MEDIOCRE.

The point (if there is a point) is that just as the sudden absence of a pesky little vestigial organ like the appendix can throw a wrench in my whole week, so can the absence of a little word like “as” totally screw up a movie synopsis. It turns out, though, that “The Big Lebowski” is inexplicably playing at a theater at 11:30 tonight, which is about a bazillion times more appealing than “Easy A,” “The Big Easy,” or “Resident Evil 4: Shaw vs. Hawthorne.”


One Response to “Back That “As” Up: The Little Things Matter”

  1. That sounds great. I wish I could join you tonight. I miss hangin with ya.

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